* Have you ever caught your partner paying just too much attention to your feet?
And we mean drooling over them…
* Do you get turned on by your partner in tight leather?
You like them tight… huh?
*Do you fantasize about your partner in the nude? Naughty you!
* Or secretly wish your partner was rather well blessed when it came to assets?
You like them BIG, don’t you?
* Does your partner love the feel of Lycra or silk? Kinks in, baby!
* Or thinks that doing it in the car is actually exciting? Adventurous now… are we?
Fret not! You are not weird, neither is your partner.
Fetishes in human beings vary from person to person. A sexual obsession that is related to physical intimacy and sex is an essential part of your bedside behavior. Most people refer to such an obsession in common language as a sexual fetish.
What is that?!
In medical or psychological terms, a fetish is an object, a practice or a body part, that becomes the focus of a person’s desire while getting it on with a partner. The scientific term applied to fetishes is paraphilia.
These sexual obsessions are relatively harmless as long as they enhance your bedside satisfaction or desire.
However, the moment they become essential in your life, you’re treading dangerous ground. To make things clearer, a fetish in bed is healthy as long as it adds to your pleasure while making out, and enhances your libido. It is not healthy if you can’t function in bed without it.
They are no more a taboo topic in several societies, and many people openly claim to have a sexual obsessions and fetishes in bed.
A quick surf on any internet search site will introduce you to a host of fetishes, some, surely you wouldn’t even know exists.
Most sexual obsessions are socially acceptable, because they’ve been around for so long.
Chinese men being turned on by disfigured feet a century ago, men all over the world being turned on by barbie sized women now, and women preferring muscled men, are fetishes that have slowly been accepted into society. Similarly, by far the most common sexual obsession, podophilia, or an interest for feet, is slowly being accepted the world over.
Deviants are normal to people who love spicing up their bedtime stories with something new to do with each other. Nobody can ever claim that fetishes are restricted to certain categories of people alone. Often straight people indulge in their sexual obsessions more passionately than anyone else.
Unlike random fetishes like interest in shopping or being addicted to talking over the phone, sexual fetishes cover a broad spectrum of the world’s population.
Almost every second person has a unique interest when it comes to sex and sexual fetishes. Some people love indulging in their fetish to add zing to their nightlife, but others go overboard and indulge in sexual fetishes as their only means of satisfaction in bed.
People with disturbing or strange obsessions in bed are often ostracized in any society, which label them as disturbed people.
It’s always better to keep the kink within the bedroom. This is something anyone with an interest in a fetish should always remember. Unless your fetish is accepted by society at large, it would be advisable to keep it low profile. Avoiding attention is always better than inviting it, unless you’re an exhibitionist, that is!
If a sexual fetish in bed can make your partner uncomfortable, you better avoid it. No obsessive sexual interest is worth more than your partner.
A couple can preferably indulge in their fetishes only if both of them consent, and are comfortable with it. Never force an obsession on your partner. It could turn out to be your worst nightmare. Incorporating an fetish into your love lives, if both of you are comfortable with it, is the best way to keep that sexual energy on a high. Fetishes can increase your satisfaction, just like talking while having sex, and help you keep the magic alive. Experimenting always helps!
At times however, a few accepted fetishes are questionable especially when they are disturbing in character. As long as such obsessions are kept to yourself, nobody can question you. They become ethically and morally wrong once they affect someone else who does not want to be affected. Just because you like pain… not everyone’s going to like it!
Sigmund Freud, the psychologist who came out with his theories in the last century, claimed that all fetishes and obsessions were neurotic in nature. He believed that every deviant and fetish stemmed from thoughts and interests formed during one’s childhood. He explained fetishes such as podophilia (an interest for feet), and related obsessions claiming, infants obsess about feet as they usually crawl around their parents’ feet for a larger part of their infanthood.
Similarly he claimed obsessions related to sucking breasts and oral sex stemmed from fixations people had with their oral stage, a stage characterized in infanthood by excessive dependency on the mouth. His explanations could not explain the causes for most other fetishes, and so his theories (as sensible as they sometimes seemed) were ignored.
Today we have tried to stop understanding where sexual fetishes originate. Instead, we are trying to understand people who seem excessively dependant on them. It’s not important to know what causes it, how to deal with it makes more sense! A person with an intense sexual fetish, is not one by choice, and shouldn’t be judged by his or her seemingly abnormal preferences in bed.
We all have our own ‘dirty little secrets in bed’! So the next time someone drools over your feet, or obsesses over your undergarments, remember they are as normal as any other human being that co-exists on this watery, warm and wild blue planet… we all call home.
So if you do come across a partner that has a few weird bed secrets or enjoys one of the several types of fetishes, don’t hate the player, hate the game. Or heck, just enjoy the show.
But all said and done, just make sure your partner does not have a fetish that seems too wild to handle or they just can’t function in bed without it. If that ever does happen, perhaps it really is time to share your problem with someone.
But other than that, enjoy your own dirty little secrets in bed with your partner, just as long as they enjoy your bed secrets!
Remember, the types of fetishes are many and a new type may be in the making right now. But as long as you enjoy it, and it hurts no one, why worry about harmless dirty little secrets that only enhance your pleasure?